Quote.

"Do it or not, you'll always regret it"

His mind tricked him.

He found himself again making a decision based on either un-existing or light-weighted reasons and all of that resulted in him, following his instincts. However, He ended up doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time, the wrong way, to the wrong person.

There was no need to do it, no need to rush anything. He could've just taken it slow.

But his doubts somehow, they sold him out.

And now, there's nothing that can be done.

Except convincing himself that he needs to forget, even when he thinks he cares.

Everyday that goes by is showing me little by little what life is all about.

And that is desperately asking me to open my eyes.

There's no much a 19 year old can tell about life.

He's got not much people around him. Only 3 people compose his family. 

The only ones he can rely on. But none can really help him really understand.

He has his own perspective on how things should be, of course, he's wrong.

But he's also stubborn and little receptive xd!

There's no 3 minutes nor 100 words that can really describe him or what goes on with his mind.

But, for one time he wants to hear from someone he cares the words:

"Well done, well done boy!... That's very smart".

......

And when he felt he'd done all he thought was right; Even-though he had clearly not covered all possibilities... Still got nothing.

But, In his eyes, In his heart, he felt unimportant, and that's the worst feeling a man can feel.

Because in the end, all us hopeless romantics want, is to feel important to those that we value. 

You see, "to take interest" in my eyes, and I imagine in many other men's eyes, simply means to be interested in someone.

Our time isn't spent with trial and error with other girls, that's tiring. 

We have our lives to invest in, stereotypes to meet to hopefully succeed in catching the interest of girls like some of the ones reading this.

New friends?

You never know what may happen when you randomly decide to go out for no reason.

Just by yourself. Wanting nothing more than having a walk, or at least having an excuse to make yourself believe you're working out xd!

Anyway, When walking down the street, I decided to take a shorcut to a near lake. 

One that I had never really had the chance to go to, since I'm relatively new to this community.

I sat there near to the shore and took my sandals off.

I spent some time thinking of the latest issues, while looking the waves and sooner than I thought I found myself taking a nap with my cap covering my face.

But it wasn't much joy when I felt something touching me. 

Apparently I was being threatened with a wooden stick by a girl.

But she wasn't alone.

The *****es woke me up hahah!!....

She wasn't even sorry. All she said was "Why are you lying here?"

- "Why wouldn't I? :)"

- "Why'd you take a nap out here?"

- "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to take some fresh air :D!....uhm! Can I help you?"

- "Oh no! I'm Lindsey, by the way, and this is my friend Megan :). What's your name?"......

We had a little talk, but you could feel the awkwardness. I had forgotten all my lines xd! I was just hoping they would keep asking me more questions :D.

I knew that what I was doing when they found me wasn't something someone would do in a place like Florida. It could've been dangerous. You never know when a crocodile could emerge or a duck could bite you. Damn, I want a duck!!! :DD!

After an hour I decided that it was time to go home and so I did.

It felt great!. They were the first people my age from the community that I had had contact with.

I finally saw the possibility of making friends in this country. 

Even-though I have awesome friends, they're all overseas and I can't really help feeling lonely. 

I love writing with them, but I need someone to hang out with once in a while.

However, I hope I'll meet them in a few years. It's either them coming here or me going to their home-country. But it will happen :DDDD!!!

Sometimes friendships,love relationships, partnerships opportunities and all the "-ships" you can think of, will demand from you, the willingness of crossing the oceans and going a few hours back or forth in time.

And no, This whole story wasn't a dream I had when lying down on that place haha! :D

I have better things to dream of at night.

I will hopefully hear from my peace-disturbing friends again :)!

To my fellow students.

"There are things that are better left untouched, just seen from a far"

....Or something like that?? :D

Just like my FAFSA application.... I'm so screwed right now xddd!!

If any of you turned out being eligible for a pell-grant through FAFSA and everything has been processed with no major issues, DON'T freaking touch it or update basic info,

Otherwise, you'd be starting all over again.

It will cost you $$$$!!

I guess I learned something valuable today and I hate paperwork!!!!

From: Humanity To: the rest of the world.

I have faith in the human kind.

And no matter how terrible some of us are and the horrible things we've done to this planet.
We're still what we are. The difference between human and any other form of life, lies in the possibility of adding content and the constantly seek of freedom.

I will always admire humanity, no matter what.
Because despite all of the wars, conflicts and constant pains, we've somehow still managed to dream, create and feel. Feelings like love, friendship and the little compassion that still struggles to survive are the ones that I appreciate and admire the most.
I live amused by the amount of material dedicated to show the best qualities of humans.

How many songs have been written to honor love or a woman? And I think about this every time I listen or read lyrics.
How many images are created daily, so, somewhere, they will make someone smile or reminisce?
How many postcards have been sent to friends and family??
And How many more I'll come by?... I don't know. But, I do hope they'll never end.

As weird and inaccurate as it may sound, I'd dare to say that we're probably one of the best things that have happened to this world.

Life 101.

I don't get and neither understand why most, if not all interviewers and potential employers dare to judge people's abilities and behaviors having nothing more than a standard paper with stupid and hardly answerable questions.

I've always thought that companies have rejected potential employees, amazing people, those who might have let them know of new methods and strategies, lacks that these may have never been aware of, until this random-unexperienced-low-income-high-school-graduate crew member finds and offers a solution and is likely capable of showing them how the job is done.


Definitely, You can't tell how much a person knows nor how determined they are until they show you what they're made of. Neither, you can judge people you know nothing about, because every person has gone through something that somewhat, shaped them into what they're now.

Let's compare little Alex with a Jane doe.


Alex is a college student, or soon will be. He has ambitions and dreams, as most teenagers.
He lacks of job experience, even-though he knows how to handle money. 
You could tell he was born to be a cashier. However, he's determined to be the best wherever at whatever he does and not being recognized and respected is unacceptable for him.
He says he can't feed his future family out of a minimum wage.
But,(There's always a 'but' xdd). He's selfish, he needs the money mostly for himself and to buy a nice car, he wants to be popular (The good way) at college. Not necessarily for having a Mustang, or a decent credit score on his bank account, but he wants to show everyone what he's capable of.
The bastard has had a lucky life so far, anyone else could think. He believes he's destined for greatness. 
In his 'desperate' seek of a job, he applies to every place he can find, not caring about what he could learn, but how much he could make and how fast he could accomplish his short-term goals.
Fact: He lacks conversational and language skills and he hasn't done very well at his job interviews xdd!!
He goes to the interview and didn't pass.... reason??....His hair was messy when he got there. 
Not good for customer service. This didn't leave a good impression and his traveled an hour for a 5min interview. 


Now, second player, Jane doe. She's a middle-aged woman. She's a RN and she was working on a Master's, but had to drop off college because of family issues. 
She completed her bachelor studies in a decent but yet well-known regional university. She's the single mother of two kids.
She doesn't have a job, because unfortunately, she didn't fit into the highest percentile of her class, and whichever hospital she has gone to has preferred 'better-looking' yet less-experienced nurses. 
She hasn't had a job in ages, she's financially struggling and she'd kill for a job.
So, Jane starts looking for jobs that are not related to her career at all. 
She finds a job offer, a part-time job at a local restaurant. But, she has no experience on restaurants or operating a register. She applies and receives a call few hours later. Surprisingly, same one as little Alex had applied. 
They schedule her interview and she agrees to meet them on time. 
She goes to the interview and they tell her she will be called if anything.
She never received that call, though.... reason?... They said "She looked nervous and insecure during the interview" and it was certainly something they can't allow to hire when it comes to customer-service related jobs. 
They've got a point....Right!! But how's it possible for someone not to feel anxious and nervous when you fucking have a couple of starving kids at home, whose dad is a jerk by the way; and you're probably going to have your supplies 'cut' in no time.... Dammit Jane... Grow a 'bigger' pair.

She was in real need of this job. While, Alex just wanted to be independent and be a show-off.

Who deserved the job?.... Who was more qualified?... Who would've done a better job?
If none of them were good and determined enough to do the job then what amazing qualities 'player 3' could possibly have?. 

P.S: This is fiction. This hasn't happened....yet. But I'm pretty convinced of the issue I'm touching here. :))!!

Will this be the first of many, too???

Oh yea!!! I've just commemorated my first year in the U.S!!!!

It's Hard to forget that hot and wet Dec 8th at Fort Lauderdale, FL

'What goes around comes around', who would tell I'd end up coming back? :)

It's amazing how one morning you wake up with the feeling of going someplace where nothing and absolutely nothing is the way you used to know, and few hours later, you have to start using a language  you've never felt comfortable using. But still understand.

I remember that as soon as I stepped out of the airport, my parents left for a moment while and me and my brother waited and then this woman came by and offered to rent us a car.
"But, I don't have a license or money xd" She said "No problem, we can solve it" She started talking about paperwork and prices... But I didn't quite get it. Deep inside me I thought "Bitch, slow it down, please :D"....But, somehow I managed to tell her that I didn't know what the hell she was talking about , that It was my first time here and that my parents were already taking care of it :D!

But, to be honest. And I hope my parents won't read this. Not everything is meant for everybody. 
And I'm not entirely happy being here, I'm not being unthankful, but this lifestyle doesn't suit me.
Even-though. I know plenty of people who would love it.


I hope those feeling will go away, though :D! 
A ratos me dá la malparidez existencial xd!

Tongue tied.

Oh mierda!! Qué está pasando?

Quería decirte Telurio, Americio, y Oxigeno, pero no me atreví!!!!

Por qué no puedo decirlo?. 

Hay muchas cosas que le digo a otras personas; muchas de las cuales son a manera de juego. Pero a ella, a ella que deseo decirle tantas cosas, y que por alguna razón, siento que es recíproco,no puedo. 

Goshhh!! Como detesto estar encargado del cortejo, solo por ser hombre xd!.

 Ahora, estas palabras puede que se guarden aquí por la eternidad, y también puede qué un día me traiga buenos recuerdos. Y aunque sé que estoy muy lejos de serlo, puedo confirmar que "Si un escritor se enamora de tí, nunca morirás". :D!

It's hard to be a man, but I'm doing all I can.

People say 'be a man.' People say it all the time.
But what does that mean?
Is it about strength?
Is it about sacrifice?
Is it about winning?
It's got to be simpler than that


"You have to know when not to man up. Sometimes it takes a real man to set his ego aside, admit defeat, and simply start all over again".

Arenosas, Arenosas Everywhere.....

Para ser honesto, no tenía grandes expectativas para este día.

Debía asistir a orientación en la universidad. Lamentablemente, llevaba nada más que un esfero y poco interés. Tenía bastantes cosas en la cabeza como para sentirme animado. 

 

Desde un principio sentía nervios y llegué a pensar "Qué demonios hago aquí??", sentía que no pertenecía y que era algo para lo que no estaba preparado.... Y ciértamente, no lo estaba.

 

En fín, Comenzamos con una breve introducción por parte de los presentadores, de los cuales, no puedo quejarme. Qué mujeres!!! Angie, desde un principio se mostró animada y me hablo tan pronto me senté un par de sillas a su derecha. No tuvimos, la oportunidad de hablar bastante. Ahora, una muchacha asiática, corta en estatura (Son estas con las que hay que ser más precavido xd); se notaba que estaba nerviosa y quién no lo estaría?. Nada más imaginarme a mí hablandole con propiedad a casí 50 personas me aterra. Y peor aún cuando muchas de las cuales tenian actitudes repugnantes hacía ella , y aún así, la 'enanita' supo ponerlas en su lugar. Hubieran visto la reacción de las tipas estas. "Chiquita y picosa" me resultó la condenada. 

 

Pasamos a un salón más grande, donde estaba este señor cuyo cabello trenzado me recuerda a "Depredador" xd! :)!.... Se lo habrán dicho antes??.

Se notaba que se había preparado y siendo sincero, no lo hizo nada mal para ser la primera orientación que hace por su cuenta. 

Mi hermano y yo mirabamos aténtamente , esperando que el tipo no decidiera hacernos una pregunta, en la que seguramente quedariamos boquiabiertos. Eso sin mencionar la vergüenza de quedar como un tonto desde un principio en frente de nuestros futuros compañeros.

 

Luego, conocí a esta otra muchachita a la cual le expliqué un problema que tenía. Al principio se mostró amable, pero sin siquiera necesitarlo, podía oler la hostilidad. 

En otras palabras, no importaba lo que yo le decía, ella seguía poniendo ultimatums. Respondí al fuego con fuego y me sentí orgulloso de mi mismo, cuando al fín, me decidía a pelear por lo que quería. 

Las palabras fluian y no podía evitar sentirme a prueba de balas :D!. 

Malgeniada y todo, termino ayudándome a hablar con Courtney, mi consejera. Punto para mí!!!!.

No podré volver a entrar a esa oficina sin que ella me diga "Courtney esta ocupada o ya se fué, quiere dejarle un mensaje?" Haha! 

Ni siquiera se su nombre, pero sé que siempre que hable con ella (y ojala que no me tenga que de nuevo), se repetirá la misma historia. 

 

Para terminar el día, puedo finálmente decir que vuelvo al campus, brothers and sisters. 

2 años lejos de el, me hán sentado mal.

 

:)!

Will this be the first of many?

So yeah!! Here I am.
Starting a new project.
Something that I certainly never thought of because I never felt I could do it.
But neither crossed my mind giving it a chance.

THANK YOU to the person who INDIRECTLY motivated me to do this.
I know you're reading this right now :)
Or you will, eventually.


I'm the not so proud owner of an over-thinking mind that thinks too much(Yes, that was redundant). In which NOTHING is ever clear. It's hard for me to express ideas and even worse tell what I really want.
I don't even know it. But I try to be honest even when I don't know the truth myself.

There's been a lot of things going on that I'll talk later about.
How to advice myself, when I don't really know what's wrong?
Maybe, I just don't want to figure it out or I'd run out of thoughts.

Haha! My first post and you can smell the drama already.
Unfortunately, It's what I got in mind right now and will probably stay there for a while until the over-whelming goes away and I find a little peace. 

See y'all :)!