Let's Face It

Let's face it. English is a crazy language.

    There is no Egg in Eggplant, nor Ham in Hamburger; neither Apple nor Pine in Pineapple. English Muffins were not invented in England, nor French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while Sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand can work Slowly, Boxing Rings are Square, and a Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a Pig.

    If the plural of Tooth is Teeth, why isn't it the plural of Booth Beeth? One Goose, two Geese, so one Moose, 2 Meese? one Index, two Indices? Is then Cheese the plural of Choose?

    And why is that Writers Write but Fingers don't Fing, Grocers don't Groce and Hammers don't Ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make Amends, but not one Amend? If Teachers Taught, why did not Preachers Praught? If a Vegetarian eats Vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

     In what other language do people Recite at a Play and Play at a Recital? We Ship by Truck, but Send Cargo by Ship. We have Noses that Run, and Feet that Smell. We Park in a Driveway, and Drive in a Parkway. And how can  a Slim Chance and a Fat Chance be the same, while a Wise Man and a Wise Guy are opposites?

     You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can Burn Up as it Burns Down, in which you Fill In a form by Filling It Out, and in which an alarm Goes Off by Going On. When Stars are Out, they are visible, but when the Lights are Out, they are invisible. Why, when I Wind Up my watch, I Start it, but when I Wind Up an essay, I End it? And, in closing, if father is Pop, how come Mother is not Mop?

Justin & Jill's Drunk History

For anyone who has not yet had the chance to watch this video, I highly recommend it. It's one of the most entertaining videos I have seen in weeks. Check it out.