Cervantes Mocking the Great Chain of Being

                              

At this point they came in sight of thirty forty windmills that there are on plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw them he said to his squire, “Fortune is arranging matters for us better than we could have shaped our desires ourselves, for look there, friend Sancho Panza, where thirty or more monstrous giants present themselves, all of whom I mean to engage in battle and slay, and with whose spoils we shall begin to make our fortunes; for this is righteous warfare, and it is God’s good service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth.”

    “What giants?” said Sancho Panza.

    “Those thou seest there,” answered his master, “with the long arms, and some have them nearly two leagues long.”

    “Look, your worship,” said Sancho; “what we see there are not giants but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that turned by the wind make the millstone go.”

     “It is easy to see,” replied Don Quixote, “that thou art not used to this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid, away with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat.”

      So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of the cries his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that most certainly they were windmills and not giants he was going to attack. He, however, was so positive they were giants that he neither heard the cries of Sancho, nor perceived, near as he was, what they were, but made at them shouting, “Fly not, cowards and vile beings, for a single knight attacks you.”

      A slight breeze at this moment sprang up, and the great sails began to move, seeing which Don Quixote exclaimed, “Though ye flourish more arms than the giant Briareus, ye have to reckon with me.”

A conversation With Myself.

      If I, one day, had the chance to go back in time and meet little me, say 13 or 14 years old, there are a few things I would like me to know and be aware of. 

      I would probably find me sitting next to my brother, attentively looking at whatever he is doing on the computer. I always seemed to enjoy watching him play his games, and sometimes still do. It was then one of the greatest feelings ever, getting home, turn the PC on, and watch the hours go by as I'd just sit there. 

    And that is possibly what I would start with, if I get the chance to talk to him, privately. I might even ask him to come with me to San Carlos and get us something to eat. There are matters in life that ought not to be discussed while the mind is wondering. But would he come with me? He always feared strangers; Am I one? 

     If I decided to introduce myself, he would say,

   "Though I have never seen you, I have to be honest, and say, you awfully look a lot like me. You almost look familiar.”

    "I will take that as a compliment, if you don't mind," I'd reply and smile. He'd smile back. 

     We'd get going.  

    

     Now, that would be easy, right? It would. I should not over think it. 

     He would probably hear, but won't listen to what old me says. I wish he did without me putting much effort, though. I would hate to get to the point in which measures need be taken. 

     Perhaps, we would sit for a couple hours; talking about school, friends and, if the appropriate moment comes, I would explain to him the actual motives lying behind our talking. 

     "Now, listen to me young man. I have not brought you here so I could spend a fortune on someone with your eating habits. Before I leave, there is, in fact, some things I would like to tell you." 

     "¿Qué dices?" (What are you saying?) I can already imagine him ask.  

     "Well, did you really think this was all just because?" 

     "No, but. . ." he'd mutter between his teeth. “I just thought there would be more." 

     "One day, you will see me again, I promise, but only if you make it there safely, if you know what I mean." 

Then I'd look him straight in the eyes and add "You'd better do, for both of us." 

      He'd nod and rapidly look at his wristwatch. "Then you had better get started. I have been away for so long mom must be paranoid about my whereabouts." 

       This kid! Gets me every time.

      

       "Good! So pay careful attention." And I go ahead. 

    "You spend too much time sitting on that bed just watching that screen, you know? How about you unfix your eyes from there, Aim to be more than just a bystander. Everybody can do that, but you can do more, dare to do more." 

      "What the hell do you propose, then? I crave to sit in my ass all day," He'd nag. 

      What did he just say?! I remember having manners. 

      "Look, kid. If I were your father. . ." I’d roar, but after thinking it twice I'd simply say "I would ask you to show some respect, but since I am not, please, just shut up." An eye for an eye.

       I continue.

     “So, how are you doing in the new school? Hanging there?”

     “How did you know about it?” He’d inquire with a notable skeptical tone in his voice.

     “A bird told me. They just can’t keep anything to themselves these days.”

     “Ha! You think you are so clever, but by the way you talk I presume you don’t have much friends, do you?”

      That would hurt.

     “I have just the right amount,” I’d proudly say “but, still, that does not answer my question.”

     “Well, I have been talking to a couple guys; they seem cool.”

     “How about girls? How many?” I’d mock him. Of course he’d hate it, but would refuse to say anything. It’s just reasonable.

     “There is this. . .”

     “Are you serious?” I’d interrupt.

     “She is new to school, too, and caught my attention.”

     “No freaking way,” and I’d laugh.

     I’d knew who he is referring to. I remember her. Her name was Carolina. She was not technically new to school. She attended school during the afternoon shift and worked the rest of the day. Still, she was new in the morning, and I think that accounted for her laziness, but who cared anyway? I was young, stupid and liked her, and I, luckily, just happened to know a guy who knew her, Diego.

    

     “So, what’s the plan?” I’d joke.

     “You mean, if it worked?” He’d claim, and I think he’d enjoy that moment.

     “You did what?!” 

              Note-to-self: Do not underestimate this kid.

    

     “Well, I have this friend. He’d taken classes with her before, and he, upon request, introduced me to her.”

     “And?”

     “And? We just chatted for a while.”

     “Did she step up to your expectations?”

     “Sort of”

     “What does that mean?”

     “It was nice meeting her, but not that nice,” He’d sigh “and I do not think she likes me anyhow.”

     “Sorry to hear that, buddy!”

      He’d be wrong. After two years of trying. He’d eventually end up dating this girl, and making plans with her—thinking they would last. Telling him, however, would not be my job. Though I could not explicitly spoil the ending for him, I’d struggle to find the best way to tell him that not to give up on this. This part of life his would be, in fact, essential for him. He needs, he must go through it. 

      “You know, she may be the kind of girl who appreciates persistence.” I’d hint him. “Cheer up, and keep trying.”

       “Thanks for the advice!”

       “It’s nothing; I’d do the same.”

               

              I would, wouldn’t I?

     I figure time is running out, and there is something I still want to discuss with him. Next topic is a bit more delicate than a tale of boys meeting girls and broken hearts. Those heartaches, after all, shall pass eventually. These, on the other hand, are permanent.

 

      "Let me ask you something. How many times does Abuelo comes look after you when mom is working?" 

       "Ehmm. Two or three times a week, I guess. I never really count; why?" 

       "And how do you feel about it?" 

        He'd shrug his shoulders and say, "Just meh!" 

       "Exactly." I'd exclaim. "They teach you needless amounts of things in school; many of which are not even useful when it comes to it."

       I hate to be such a spoiler, “but how about this fact? I bet you have never been taught this in class: One day you'll die, and that mom and Abuelo will, too. He'll probably leave you all first, then she, and guess who follows: you! It is inevitable, and what will you do about it?" 

        "Ok, dude! Now you are seriously scaring me."

        "I am sorry if it sounded like a threat. I did not mean to. I am merely wanting you to infer what I am trying to tell you. Take this to heart; just hug him every chance you can. I hope you will." 

        Then, the silence. 

        That is as far as I would go. I'd stop after planting each one of those seeds. I would wish I could stay around a little longer; just so I could watch him, and make sure my words and money were not wasted, but I must not interrupt. I have watched far too many movies to know what a big deal is made out of altering the past, even in the slightest way. I must depart. I do not think I am supposed to stay there any longer.

        "Let's get you home and out of trouble," I'd tell him. That's how you kill two bird with one stone.

We’d both stand up, look down to the soil checking no personals were left behind, and walk back home.  

       By this point, I would have completed what I had come here to do in the first place, I believe. After all, I’d only want him to understand that he’s got so much up ahead, to have no fear of doing something differently, to enjoy his time (Whatever that really means), and to appreciate the life around him. Taking more pictures, making more friends and memories, whenever possible would definitely be a big plus, but that would be far beyond my control.

      So, I’d leave hoping he’d truly listen this time. I’d leave, I must admit, expecting something in my present to be different. I’d leave blindly hoping that seemingly mannerless kid would do just as I’d advised, for the sake of both of us. Actually, I will say, for my own benefit. I’d leave feeling I have left a wondrous part of me behind. A part of me I shall forever remember.